Somatic Symptom Disorder

"Somatic symptom disorder occurs when a person feels extreme anxiety about physical symptoms such as pain or fatigue. The person has intense thoughts, feelings, and behaviors related to the symptoms that interfere with daily life.

A person with somatic symptom disorder (SSD) is not faking their symptoms. The pain and other problems are real. They may be caused by a medical problem. Often, no physical cause can be found. But it's the extreme reaction and behaviors about the symptoms that are the main problem."

I snorted at my phone-actually, the article my friend had sent me- about this "Somatic Symptom Disorder". Is she really implying that I have this? Silly Natasha. She's always been quite weird.

Well, I do feel extreme boredom at math class, or...extreme pain during periods. I feel extremely tired after gym class, and extremely fatigued after binge-watching the whole season of Game Of Thrones.

And, yes, I do complain and sigh a lot. But honestly, don't all students do that?

I flopped lazily onto my bed, still on my uniform and all. I took my phone up to my face and scrolled on my social media. Pictures and videos started loading before my eyes. Ugh, that bitch Shayna. Changing boyfriends every ten hours. And that ombre hair, are you kidding me? She looks cheap.

I was having so much fun judging my so-called-friends when mom bursts into my room.

"You useless kid! Who do you think I am, your nanny?! Do you expect me to clean up over all the shit you brought into this house?"

I stared at her.

"Look at you, still in your uniform, playing with your gadgets! I shouldn't have bought you that phone! All you do is sleep, play, you never study! How do you expect to-"

Oh, the rest sounds like static white noises to me. Bzzzzz. After she had left, of course, not forgetting to slam the door, I walked up to my drawer and took out a sharpener.

I loosened the bolt and it came apart. The sharp iron is off from its plastic shell. Well, afterwards is the usual routine- first is the jolting chest pain from harsh words, second comes the blood, third the tears, and lastly comfort.

I laid back down to my bed, blood still running from the slits I had made on my thighs. I let out a sigh and scratched my cheek, itchy from drying tears. Extreme pain towards words...

So this is what she meant when she said I had SSD, huh.